From The Memoirs Of Sherlock Holmes
Holmes: Now, here's where our first hand knowledge of Hebrew will
come in handy Watson. 53:5, the Christian translation says "He
was wounded for our sins." But the original Hebrew word
translated as wounded is "lamoh" which is the PLURAL form of
wounded, i.e. THEY were wounded. Also the word the Christians
translated as "for" should be "from". The proper translation
is
"they were wounded BECAUSE of our sins". And the last
sentence of 53:5 is translated by the Christians as "And by his
bruises we ARE healed." But the original Hebrew is written in the
past tense, "And by his bruises we WERE healed". Finally, 53:9
"And his grave". The word for grave in the original Hebrew is
written in the plural, "And THEIR graves." Looking at
the Chapters after 53 virtually every bad thing that happens to the
suffering servant of Chapter 53 is explicitly stated as happening
to Israel and similarly every good thing that happens to the
servant is explicitly stated as happening to Israel.
So, in summary Watson, Israel is explicitly identified as G-d's
servant, fourteen times. Isaiah explains that once Israel repents
from its sins it will become a righteous example for the Nations
which are still sinful and mistreating Israel. There are words used
in Chapter 53 indicating that a plurality of people are being
referred to. And, virtually every thing that is described as
happening to the suffering servant in Chapter 53 is explicitly
stated as happening to Israel elsewhere in the writings of Isaiah.
Now, based on these facts, who do you suppose the suffering
servant of Isaiah, Chapter 53 is Watson?
Watson: Uhm, Israel?
Holmes: Precisely!
Watson: Good show Holmes you've' solved the case. Should I inform Lord
Disraeli?
Holmes: I think not Watson, he died six years ago. Call Rabbi
Signorenson instead. Here's his number.
Watson: What the deuce for Holmes? (dials number).
Holmes: Why, so we can convert to Judaism of course. Now that we know
who the suffering servant really is we don't have much choice, do
we? Besides, your chess game could use the improvement that
will surely come from being part of the chosen people.
Watson: Holmes, Rabbi Signorenson says that before we can convert we
have to be circumcised. He says that he can make an
appointment for us tonight at the hospital.
Holmes: Make it for tomorrow night Watson. Right now I feel as though
something nutritious at Simpsons would be appropriate. Say a
jumbo shrimp appetizer and then the house specialty, a whole
roasted pig basted all day in Miller High Lite beer. Washed down
by an extremely tall glass of milk. If we're going to have to start
keeping kosher I want to go out on a real bender.
Watson: My memory escapes me Holmes. How exactly do we get to
Simpsons from here?
Holmes: By carriage Watson, by carriage.
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